Let me begin by saying that, I do not have this figured out. This post is more so meant for a catharsis or release…pardon my selfishness. Have you ever run across a piece of furniture that you are redoing that has a MAJOR attitude?! Like I mean it just will not give?! Have you ever just left it for a while or forever? I have because I get frustrated and I lose sight, I lose the vision.
I’ve been wanting to give up lately on something much more important than furniture. You know. just quit on what I feel in my heart is good and true and right for our family. I’ve wanted to lay down my vision and just….rest. I know that our family is not normal we homeschool, love the Lord and believe in his sovereignty of all things, paint and build furniture for fun, shoot guns, go fishing, want to have a farm and dream of moving the the last pioneer country: Alaska. Yep, that sums us up in a nutshell. But we have yet to fully jump. We have our feet on both sides of the fence not quite ready to jump.
We dream of life off the grid and raising boys who think like men and provide. We don’t shuffle our feet around that nor do we apologize for it. It is just who we are, but we weren’t raised this way. This way of thinking chose us. We’ve dragged our feet kicking and screaming though…and still are!
We are suburbanites by association. That’s where we were raised. Our story begins like many others: high school sweethearts who got married and had babies. It’s an old story, but a good one. But somewhere along the way, we detoured and began to wonder if we truly wanted to recreate suburbia life all over again for our babes. We quickly realized that that just isn’t for us. We want real relationships with each other and our children. We want to place bandages on the holes of family life that have been ravaged down our lineage. We want depth and love and wholeness.
But from fear of the unknown these ideas make most leery if not down right afraid. When we speak out about some of these “outlandish ideas of ours” we get sideways glances and low mumbles from disgruntled relatives. Sad, it is, but we believe in this fight. We believe in the family. We believe in getting out of the grocery store and learning to be a bit more self sufficient. We believe in doing things ourselves. We believe in doing the right thing even when it’s hard. We don’t think this life that we are so determined to lead is for everyone, but we would just love if some people would open their hearts and at least give us a chance to explain.
Sometimes, it is so hard to stay motivated and to keep the course fighting “the good fight” but whatever your fight is dear readers keep your head up. And as Dory from Finding Nemo would say, “just keep swimming….”